After a Loved One Dies

The unthinkable has just happened – you have lost a loved one and grief starts to enter your mind. Understanding that now is the critical time to make important decisions, you begin to focus on what needs to be done in the next couple of days. This article is designed to be a guide to help you decide what to do in the first 48 hours when you lose a loved one and also some of the benefits of pre-planning. The decisions you will need to make may appear straightforward as you read today’s article, but when the unimaginable occurs and you are faced with decisions that can be overwhelming, this guide may become a valuable tool. Ideally, it is wise to speak with loved ones about financial matters, funeral arrangements, etc. before he or she passes away. This may be uncomfortable, but it will save you from having to figure out all the answers after the fact. Either way, today’s guide will help direct you through the initial steps that need to be taken once your loved one is gone. Being aware of your loved one’s wishes prior to his or her death will simply be beneficial as you navigate these steps. A number of individuals and organizations will need to know that your loved one has passed away. Use the following list to help you make sure you contact all the appropriate people. Family and friends: Contact family and close friends first, not only because they will be the most concerned group, but also because then they can take some of the pressure off you. Ask them for help with notifying relatives, friends and business associates – especially if you have many people to call. This is also a good time to ask people to take care of your loved ones’ pets, lawn, etc. Religious contacts: Communicate with your loved one’s place of worship to conduct the funeral service. Placing a note in the bulletin is also an easy way to notify others of your loved one’s death. Professional groups: Contact organizations with which your loved one was a member, was a volunteer or paid dues. These may be alumni associations, professional organizations or social groups. Employer: If your loved one was employed when he or she passed away, contact his or her employer’s human resource department and inquire about any final paychecks, sick time, benefits, etc. If you loved one was retired, contact the retirement administrator. Companies with which your loved one received regular service: Call banks at which your loved one had accounts. Notify credit card companies. If he or she received medication by mail, cancel the service. Cancel or change the name on automatic bill-paying services as well as newspaper and magazine subscriptions. Your attorney: Alert your attorney so he or she can assist you in taking care of any legal issues. Your accountant: An accountant can assist you in settling the estate if you are the executor and inform you of tax consequences or benefits of actions taken. After a loved one passes, you’ll need to confirm whether he or she had specific funeral instructions, such as a prepaid funeral plan or prepaid cemetery plot, and communicate those requests to funeral home. Funeral decisions you’ll need to make include: • What will be the time, location and day of the funeral? • If your loved one wished to be cremated, to whom shall the ashes be given? • Will the casket be open or closed? • Will there be any specific prayers, music, pallbearers or flowers for the service? • Should charitable donations be given in lieu of flowers? • Will a luncheon be served following the service? Who will prepare the food? • Is someone available to stay and watch over the deceased’s home, especially during the funeral service? (Unfortunately, some people look to newspapers for funeral arrangements and then burglarize homes while grieving families attend services.) • Is there a trusted friend of family member who can help you keep a list of people to thank for support, flowers, food, memorial gifts, etc.? Be sure to take advantage of the support you will receive from funeral home staff members. They can help you with numerous tasks, such as helping you obtain copies of the death certificate (you will typically need 10 certified copies for paperwork purposes) and even connecting you with a support group for survivors. Once the funeral arrangements have been made, you should inform the community through an obituary in the local newspaper.